New Loved Skincare Stuff


It’s been a while since I wrote about my skincare products. Been using THEFACESHOP ones I bought last year and it’s been a couple of months since I’m out of them. I decided not to go re-purchase because even though they’re good, I think I’d want to look for cheaper options.

By the way, these are my second bottles.

So first I found this local (Malaysia), cruelty-free, organic and totally halal product from a company called Good Virtues Co.

It was on display outside of Watson’s and the beautiful packaging made me fall in love. Didn’t purchase it immediately. Kept in view for a while while I finished the rest of my products.

The ingredients are made of Black Seed, which is a seed mentioned in the Quran. When I was in America for Sufi School few years back my last class (Prophetic Medicine) was up in a hut on stilts in the forest and we were taught about this plant.

from the Sufi University website

from the Sufi University website; yes I went here!

The school was literally on a valley in Pope Valley (duh) and the classroom was somewhere behind the cabins you’d have to climb even more. It was cool.

from the Sufi University website; see that small little hut on the right, that was where the herbs lesson was

from the Sufi University website; see that small little hut on the right, that was where the herbs lesson was

Anyway I opened this plant, taught how to feel it with my heart etc etc Sufi stuff so I know the blessings and goodness that comes with this.

Catchphrase for this brand? Love, Peace, Joy.
My life goal which I adapted from Sufi School? Love, Peace, Mercy.


Now these are on my bathroom shelf!

Good Virtues Co. Bathroom

The first thing I tried was the shampoo and conditioner. It worked so well, my hair fall went from perhaps 10 in a finger-comb to none. I was so happy, I went on to purchase my second bottle.

Sadly, the second bottle didn’t go as well as the first. Finger-combing my hair brings back ten strands of hair in return. For about two weeks I used my mother’s ginseng shampoo and it strengthened my hair while I wait for a response from Good Virtues Co. I wrote to them about what I experienced using their product – I really was happy with their first bottle but what happened, right? It was a feedback. Like I’ve read at my brother’s barber shop somewhere: IF you’re happy with my business, tell others. If you’re not, tell me.

As an apology (I don’t think it’s their fault) they sent me an exact same shampoo, a feminine wash and a body wash. I haven’t used the new bottle of shampoo. But I think it’s not the shampoo that’s caused all these but it’s me. Maybe my body repels organic. I don’t know, but I’m going to keep using it.

Not too crazy about the feminine wash but I absolutely love the body wash: anti-bacterial and hydrating. Online they’re having a sale where the scrub, the huge bottle of shower and hand lotion is only RM38. Got them today, haven’t got the chance to try it yet. I’m not at home and at home there’s no internet. It’s like I live in the 1990s.

For good virtues (pun), cruelty-free, organic, local, very affordable, halal, and great customer service I recommend you to : BUY.

I showed you my bathroom shelf, now I’m showing you my dressing table! It’s almost empty because I’ve reduced my skincare from so so so many bottles to only four per day/night.

For now this lazy girl has ~improvised~ her daily skincare regime:

1) Wash face with Garden of Eden Milk Cleanser
2) Bubble face with a random foam face wash from THEFACESHOP
3) Tone skin with a random toner
4) ………….

My Dressing Table

….these! Garden of Eden serums! These are also my second set of bottles. Loving them so far. Good Virtues Co. have their own series of skincare too, but I haven’t read a review about it to be confident enough to put it on my face.

It’s lightweight oil and I have no problem with putting oil on my face. Understand the logic that like repels like so oil is able to remove the oil in my pores.

They seem to have really good reviews, are local and on one I saw on the milk cleanser bottle that it’s cruelty-free. The serums didn’t write this though. Hmm…

These days I find myself sold at things that say “pigmentation” and “anti-aging”. I look really old lol that I need things to make me look my age!!!

Garden of Eden

Here are my areas of concern:

face area of concern

1) The two sun spots/pigmentation/whatever it’s called
2) The lines under my eyes
3) The darkness under my eyes.

Anything you know that has worked super well?

aaaaaaaaand I’m done!


What about your past, I asked.
“It has passed, let it go past.”
I can’t let it sweep past, I blast.
You must! Be clean for us to last!
Aghast on Outlast, I adjust!
But you,
Glass, Mistrust!
I am unsurpassed.

Blame David?

It’s obvious I’m not popular and that I keep my circle small and close. For that, I don’t have many people talking to me online except for the 3 or 4 constant, everyday small talks.

However, since I became a guest teacher at an Indonesian school last year, now once a month for a few days I will be flooded with chats from my ex-students. The conversations are commonly “How are you doing?” and “When are you coming back to teach us?” I briefly taught at two schools, have exchanged my contacts with only one school and that’s the school that hasn’t invited me back. My students don’t understand this by telling me “But we want you to teach us!” and “You inspire me!”

It’s very flattering yet humbling at the same time. There I was, somebody who’s never thought of being a teacher being told by students that they love me. Flattering as in a ball of doubt that you try to swallow “ha ha ha r u sure” and humbling can be described with one word: Oh.

If you’ve read Matilda by Roald Dahl, my all time favourite children’s book I actually feel more connected to Miss Trunchbull than I did to Miss Honey or Matilda. She was somebody the evil side of me aspired to be.

Anyway we’ve strayed too far.

A student (let’s call him A) raised a rather unusual topic to me last week. He said, “Teach me how you remained single and never been in a relationship.”

Ding ding ding! Rang a random bell in my head. It’s something many people have raised but what this student did was different was how he said, “Teach me.”

Gee, thank you for asking. When I was a teacher there, it’s nothing funny that students wonder about the relationship status of their new teacher. Even the teachers wondered that.

I stayed in the school dormitory where some teachers lived too, and one day I went out with an old friend from school who sent me back to campus. It was a Sunday, and I expected nobody to have seen us but the next day in class a student (let’s call him F) asked me,

“Was the driver your boyfriend?”
“No,” I replied and added, “I don’t have a boyfriend.”

His jaw dropped, and his surrounding classmates shifted their attention to me. Being in an Islamic school, it was a gender-separated class and this was the senior boys’ class.

“You don’t have a boyfriend?”
“I don’t!”
“I don’t believe you! What about the guy on your desk?”
“Believe it or not I’ve never had a boyfriend. That picture on my desk is a picture of my favourite singer, David Archuleta.”

I don’t know if what my eyes saw were incorrect, but I saw that they started looking at me in a different light.

F, the student who asked me this question proceeded to write me an “essay” that told me about how his guess as to why I was single was because of David Archuleta. “How long are you going to stay like this, Miss Fifi? I want you to be happy.”

As if the rumour has spread, a male teacher approached me to ask, “When do you plan to get married?” I looked at him, surprised.

“I haven’t really thought about it,” I said.
“Do you at least have a target age?”
“I don’t.”

It was a very interesting (though dull) question because I’ve honestly never put a rubber door stopper on my age line as a mark that says You Better Get Married By This Age. As a result I’ve never really looked around for anybody.

And then I realized I am aging. It’s kind of alarming, aging. And not wanting to suit yourself with anybody who likes you simply because you don’t like them back. I know they say love takes work, but I don’t know yet; never been really interested to find out.

It’s personal to broadcast what I replied to A, but I believe he left the conversation feeling determined and motivated to keep himself away from relationships. He told me his plan was to study and get a job first. Good plan, I guess. I’m glad that somebody has seen my way of life sensible to apply to his life too.

To F, I think you’re right. Maybe he’s the reason why I’m single.


As you may or may not know, I’m currently writing a fictional story about a girl with an illness she does not know about. She spirals in darkness when alone, but sometimes realises that the only way to see the light is to draw her curtains. Right now I’m just getting the skeleton of my story done while thinking about whether I should be bothered with the tiny details like what kind of Turkey I put on the plate and what wood my furniture is made up of (I can’t be bothered, but should I be?).

A friend told me that my writing is not for me, it’s for other people therefore I should add as many details as possible. This “revelation” has made my usually breezy writing process difficult because now I’m finding myself looking all the little details like what’s printed on the shirt (though it reveals one’s character) but we’ll see whether I care enough later.

I thought of the word “eccentric” and wanted to look into what it really means, who are the eccentrics? I quote from Wikipedia, “the eccentric’s habits are incomprehensible not because they are illogical or the result of madness, but because they stem from a mind so original that it cannot be conformed to societal norms.”

That same friend has told me that I was weird but “not in the face”. Literally everyone who knows me beyond my face would use similar adjectives to describe me. Crazy, weird, funny, I hear them all the time. They’d tell me that I need a boyfriend or a husband to cope with my odd behaviour which I now want to associate with eccentricity.

Eccentricity is perhaps a form of mental illness, but mental illness makes the person suffer. I do not find myself suffering. I’ve met many individuals, out of the need to be different from others, exaggerate that made up “weirdness”. They’d deliberately listen to songs of metals clanking singing with their raw throat voice because it’s not “mainstream” and have perhaps stolen the sunglasses from their grandfather because it’s “hip fashion”. Their hair is green because it’s a form of expression (of being related to Nessy?) and butt cheeks can be seen from their super short shorts because they “love” their body.

These are made up examples of people I made up in my head who try to express themselves differently from people. They don’t want to associate themselves with the norm so they try hard to be different. Nothing wrong with that, but there’s nothing eccentric to that.

And then I found this (I do love Wikipedia yes I know you can edit them self-editable it’s still reliable to me), and found that ALL of the bullet points related to me:

Characteristics (of Eccentricity):

Psychologist David Weeks mentions people with a mental illness “suffer” from their behavior while eccentrics are quite happy. He even states eccentrics areless prone to mental illness than everyone else.

According to Weeks’ study, there are fifteen distinctive characteristics that differentiate a healthy eccentric person from a regular person or someone who has a mental illness (although some may not always apply). The first five are found in most people regarded as eccentric:

  • Nonconforming
    – I am a law abiding citizen when it comes to the safety of others or things that could made me thrown into jail. I don’t speed and I don’t riot but I am nonconforming.
  • Creative
  • Strongly motivated by curiosity
  • Idealistic: wants to make the world a better place and the people in it happier
    – In my blog I have written many self-made up theories on how the world would spin harmoniously if …….
  • Happily obsessed with one or more hobbies (usually five or six)
    – The word is obsessed. A couple of people have pointed out how I don’t know the scale 5. My scale is either 0 or 10. Hot or Cold. et cetera. They find it baffling. It’s weird. Why would you?
  • Aware from early childhood that they are different
    – I’ve always known that’s why being “different” has never bothered me. My sister has started wearing a hat to school and her friends asked her, “Aren’t you afraid?” I asked, of what? They say “of being different.” Huh? We’re not attention seekers. We are not afraid of being odd. We just don’t want sun meeting our face.
  • Intelligent
  • Opinionated and outspoken, convinced that they are right and that the rest of the world is out of step
  • Noncompetitive, not in need of reassurance or reinforcement from society
    – Recently someone tried to give me a harsh method of pep talk to “motivate” or “inspire” me. If only people had understood that different people are made up of different emotional and mental substances, they’d be smarter in their ways of approaching people. Me, for example, I am unmoved when people say I should make more money. I honestly do not feel the need to return the “debt” I owe to my parents for bringing me up (hello, parental responsibilities?). When I’m motivated, I do it without anybody telling me to. When I’m competitive, I go all out. When I’m not, I’m just not. Relax. (of course I know I’m supposed to support my parents lolz it’s common sense)
  • Unusual in his eating habits and living arrangements
    – Not going to mention my eating habits and sleeping arrangements because even this concurs that I fit in the eccentric characteristic.
  • Not particularly interested in the opinions or company of other people, except in order to persuade them to his – the correct – point of view
  • Possessed of a mischievous sense of humor
  • Single
    – Guess it’s going to be forever then.
  • Usually the eldest or an only child
  • Bad speller
    – This was the only thing out of the Eccentric list. I am an excellent speller.

Oh, the last point is not me: guess I’m not as eccentric as I thought I am…..

Wait I am dyslexic just not in the spelling department.

So, do you think you are this list?


all these heartbreaking work
has been giving my skin a workout
pus in skin, you smirk
disgusting breakouts.
so I’ll focus on something happy:
you and I under that tree.


“you’re magic,”
whispered his lips.
tracing each other
eyes swimming
slow breathing
funny talks
calm things
then “oh why bother!
you’re that stalk
holding the leaves
you’re not even the rose.
I want petals, her scent.
You, only full of non-sense.
I foresee myself disappointing.
I don’t want you lamenting.”
wait, what the -?
am I in luck?
you were balding anyway.
like a nuisance caterpillar chomping away
metamorphosis will occur,
I concur.
but butterflies don’t last days.
just like the petals you plucked,
you’ll be –

Dead Heart

logic tells us
we’ll adjust.
logic adds
bring heart to boil
so it doesn’t spoil.
oh, dads.

crank it up to one hundred degrees!
no unease!

the heart softens!
you saw the glory!
see, I told you!
she’ll bring home the bread!

you forget the end of the story:
maybe this sounds new;
but the heart will be dead.

Cool Fool


she was only three in this,
holding what she treasured to bits.
she now owns
a thicker version of it, and
wanted to meet someone
who would tell her more about it.
one day, look!
more than one someone she met
who knew this book.
she was overwhelmed but kept
her face. she was not going to
make a mistake. she dropped her mace.
they were all nice. very cool.
one, in particular, was a
cool fool.