I wrote this mini rant on Facebook “Only Me” a couple weeks ago when I saw a shared post on my Facebook timeline saying that the picture below is “unacceptable”. Comments poured in saying that her intentions doesn’t make it right, why are girls liking these Korean stars so much, etc. With over 400 shares and 800 likes, 99% of them agree with the author.
In my attempt to start writing again, I shall bring it up: Why I’m the 1% who disagrees.
First, let me explain why it is deemed “unacceptable” to the people who saw the picture and commented.
They are Muslims. The girl in pink hijab is obviously a Muslim too. In Islam, it is an absolute no-no to touch the opposite gender unrelated to you. Some still do it, but people are cross because this girl is representing Islam via her headwear. I think what causes the most aggravation is the fact that she wore a glove to dodge the rule where there is no direct contact involved hence it should be o-kay to high-five the cutie.
Fangirl Muslimahs are generally frowned upon because going gaga over a male “Idol” is not a good image at all. Doesn’t reflect Islam’s message of modesty in women. That, I respectfully understand. I understand that and I do my best to behave in concerts and not have any crazy tweets.
(Question: If I you really respect Islam you wouldn’t even go to concerts. Answer: We all have different time-wasting hobbies. One may like to smoke, another person likes to go fishing, etc. These are all equivalent in the way it “wastes” time and money. But one may brush it off saying “At least he still remembers to pray,” or “But he reads the Quran” – same thing with us. How could you judge me like that?)
As a Muslim fangirl, I have obviously thought of the same thing I want to do when I get to meet David or Jong Kook. The last couple of times I met David I did not even shake his hand due to my deeper understanding of Islamic messages and values, and also out of respect for the rules and Islam. However, I do not think it is wrong to shake his hand with gloves.
All Muslim women should know (if you don’t, now you do) that our Prophet has said that for a pole to be pierced through her head is better than to touch the opposite sex. Let me explain why he said that.
Mankind was created weak. I’ll take that literally. Being a woman I know that a man’s weakness is women. A woman’s smile could met their hearts, let alone a woman’s touch. A touch is one of the “advanced” source of temptation in men. I say “advanced” because in “advancing”, it’s just playing with the eyes and smiling at each other. To start by touching leads to other stuff. Skin-to-skin. Hence it’s forbidden. That’s why the rule was created.
Tell me what kind of temptation is aroused after a split second of a high-five with wool. Let me tell you, I know it’s just a split second. People see my pictures with David and think I get to spend lots of minutes with him when reality they’re seconds I could count with my fingers.
I also know that most respectful Muslimah fangirls don’t have a boyfriend and generally do not have close enough contact with men; perhaps these half-a-second meetings with celebrities are the closest she’s been with men. If she has guy friends, I’m sure she doesn’t even dream of high-fiving them. From my observation, if she has a boyfriend, she is less likely to fangirl.
As girls, unlike boys, I know we don’t ogle. We, respectful of our religion, don’t look at men and think about them sexually. I know that we don’t even think of the celebrities that way. We probably just like his hair or his smile – just personal preference. Nothing dirty, no bad thoughts or ill intentions.
Please don’t misunderstand and think that I think it’s okay for any Muslim boy and girl to touch as long as they’re wearing gloves. If there’s romance involved, it’s wrong. If it’s “just” friendship, it’s still wrong. We don’t know if one another have feelings or not.
My point is that high-fiving a celebrity with gloves is harmless because 1) The celebrity doesn’t care about us 2) The celebrity doesn’t care about us 3) The celebrity doesn’t care about us. Yes we are aware of this. Yes we know we are stupid to line up for hours just for them.
So what’s the problem here? Apparently even so, it’s wrong. It’s wrong to want to meet your favourite celebrity. It’s wrong for Muslimahs to support someone. All the more wear gloves and HA! High five him! She has astrayed from Islam, quick tug her back to shore! Even if you still didn’t forget your prayers in the midst of the the queue, even if you are still aware Allah is watching you,.. but you know He knows you best.
People just want to find something to hate, you see.
In my response to the men commenting stuff like “I don’t understand why these girls are crazy over these Korean stars. These guys don’t even think of them.” I think South Korean celebrities, male and females are better looking than local celebrities. Yeah I know they’re crazy about plastic surgery. It’s just a personal preferance. Don’t get too personal with it. Good luck winning the heart of the girl of your dreams who is crazy over Korean stars.
Meh, I’m sure the men attacking this innocent picture look at women too. When women cross their path they just can’t help but look at least once. Or twice. Whoops. Haram stuff. The real problem would then be men since they just have difficulty lowering their gaze.
Our fangirl problem can’t cause temptation, they cannot bring fitnah (defamation) because LOL what, we KNOW it’s not real. We know these men don’t even think about us. The thing about shaking hands with the opposite sex is that it may cause temptation, the root of adultery etc. If this is the problem in this picture, there is no problem.
A bigger problem I see in this Islamic country is the actors and actresses hugging and wearing revealing clothes on TV. I do not see this fangirl-in-gloves-high-five-for-I-know-not-even-one-second as a problem worthy to cause an uproar. But it did to me because I am a Muslimah fangirl and it’s sad we’re just downright misunderstood.
This post was written up to your own interpretation. I won’t tell you to mind your own business because it’s people who minded others businesses that makes the world a better place. Just, stop attacking defenseless Muslimah fangirls.